Since no one else is here....

A Japanese freighter had been torpedoed during WWII and it’s at the bottom of Tokyo Harbor with a large hole in her hull. A team of engineers was called together to solve the problem of raising the wounded vessel to the surface. One of the engineers tackling this puzzle said he remembered seeing a Donald Duck cartoon when he was a boy where there was a boat at the bottom of the ocean with a hole in its hull, and they injected it with ping-pong balls and it floated up. The skeptical group laughed but one of the experts was willing to give it a try. Of course, where in the world would you find twenty million ping-pong balls but in Tokyo? It turned out to be the perfect solution. The balls were injected into the hull and it floated to the surface, the engineer was elated. Moral solutions to problems are always found at an entirely different level; also, believe in yourself in the face of impossible odds.

2008 Recap

After due consideration and at the behest of at least one reader, I've developed what I feel is an exaustive recap of 2008's event:

MIKE PUKED.

See you next year!

Justifying my Diabetes

As a tazpayer and a gun owner, I am shocked and dismayed by the lack of coverage of 'Punga 2008. Where are the witty remarks, the brazen accusations, and photo with the TV embedded in my Skull?
Yours in Christ,
Joel "Where's my 500 ft Jesus" Anderson

I am a Soldier in the Army of Grog

T-shirt logo by Robin's friend Brian

Warning Signs for the Weekend

Quotes from 2007 Qpunga

As the archivist, I thought I'd list some quotes from last year's Qpunga.

"Al is a moron when he's loaded", Mike about Al

Mike wrote, "Brian 12 Deschextics! Brian iz poo poo head." We are unsure of the translation, but are checking with all 6 to 12 month-olds for interpretation.

"This could be the worst drink of the night", Mick about Sex on the beach (drink), on an interesting side note - he declared the Bahama mama "better than last year" - you'll recall last year this was the "bananas and ass" drink.

..."in fact, I might have a burger for lunch and dinner tomorrow" Mick

Brian to Al, "I made a horrible mistake" (after tasting the hot spiced cider drink), Al: "What? You don't like it? " Brian: "Yes, I like it but I can't drink it that fast" (Robin followed with the reminder it's NOT a race).

John Anderson made a point to say at 9:45 on Saturday night that he had a 2nd wind and felt no pain.... And, the name of his first born was going to be Kiki Colada.

Hey! You! Fuckhead! I love you! (anonymous about anonymous)

Perhaps the best quote of the night, Brian to Mike: "Are you going to vomit? Cuz if you do, vomit in the sink - that's what I did - it's easier to wash down." (5:15 Saturday)

One other interesting note: orginally, Mick had his blood/sugar & liver test scheduled for the Monday after Qpunga - but he rescheduled the appointment (thankfully).

Qanimaliqpunga IV: Official Scorecard

The 2008 scorecard.

Click for bigger.

Minutes

Minutes from the Feb. 21 Meeting of the Qanimaliqpunga Board of Regents:

• The following drinks will be demoted from the Speciality Drink Canon to Wildcards for 2008: the Mai Tai, the Kiki Colada, the French Lemonade.
• The following drinks will be promoted from Wildcards to Canon: the Mojito, the Malibu Breeze.
• As a compromise, the Bahama Mama will be demoted in 2009, with the Kiki Colada promoted.
• After consulting the Bartender's Manual, the Zombie Duece has been added to the list overall and promoted to Canon. This increases by one the number of drinks listed on the scorecard.

• Robin will be doing Iron-ons. She will need T-shirts from anyone who wants one by the end of this weekend.
  
• A "Sprint" element will be added to the contest and will be given an appropriate name by Brian. The sprint will require participants to finish 8 canon drinks and 2 wild cards on Saturday, March 1st.
  
• Paper umbrellas will be provided, and must be utilized by all participants and observers throughout the contest.

Addendum:

Possible titles for the Sprint feature, all taken from the Inuktitut:

• Nainniqsaujuq ("This is shorter")
• Iqiasukutit ("You are lazy")
• Naanngujunga ("I have a tummy ache")

An e-mail conference this morning clarified Naangujunga as the best option, given the event's thematic link with illness.

T-Shirts, anyone?

Here are a few possible ideas for T-shirts. Anyone interested? Anyone have any other ideas?

Vote early, vote often.

Qanimaliqpunga 2008

Qanimaliqpunga IV has been scheduled for the weekend of February 29th through March 2nd, 2008.

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For those of you who plan to attend, and those of you who will wisely avoid it, Qanimaliqpunga IV is set to begin at 5:30pm on Friday, February 29th and continue through the wee hours on Sunday.

Al, Mick, and I should organize a planning session shortly to draft this year's menu; Mike Schnarsky has voting rights based on last year's finish. Part of the planning will involve giving Hooligan's fair warning.

I hope that Robin will once again volunteer to be our recording secretary. We could also use pictures -- or hastily drawn napkin cartoons -- if someone's willilng to document.

I'll also remind you of this very neglected blog. Feel free to contribute!

In previous years, it has been my mission to try to grow the Qanimaliqpunga tradition, but since having kids, I've warmed towards my fellow man and I now want to repair civilization rather than destroy it. Therefore, for the good of humankind, I now feel that as many people stay away from this tradition as possible. In literary terms, Qanimaliqpunga is a horrid annual attack by slow-moving, sugar-addled zombies. Warn your friends and neighbors.

Qanimaliqpunga is also quite expensive. So do your taxes early.

On a positive note, however, I think we all agreed to retire the Mai Tai.