Thursday, April 5, 2007

The 50-State Slammers

Traditionally, the drinks required by Qanimaliqpunga have included an Alabama Slammer. Many participants have complained about the sickly sweet taste of the AL-Slam, but I maintain that it is actually one of the tastiest of the state "slammers." As proof, I offer you recipes for several of the other state slammers.

  • Alabama: Hiram Walker Amaretto, Southern Comfort, sloe gin and orange juice.
  • New Jersey: Toxic Superfund Waste Sight Sludge, Tomato Schnapps, and Gin.
  • New York State: A Hot Cup of "Go F#ck Yourself" Served up in a I Y NY Mug.
  • Pennsylvania: An oddly pizza-flavored drink made from peppar vodka, tomato bisque, and hot Italian sausage.
  • Minnesota: Ranch dressing and brandy served in a frosted mug.
  • Texas: Sour Cream, Hot Sauce, and vodka warmed over a campfire.
  • Alaska: Beer, smoked salmon, and weed.
  • Washington: Fermented rain, ennui.
  • Florida: Orange juice, metamucil, and sweet vermouth garnished with the tooth of a saltwater mammal.
  • Utah: Salt water, brine shrip, and caffeine free diet Shasta.
  • California: Wheatgrass, Sunkist and Pinot Grigio dashed with saline solution and served in a gelatin sac. Doubles as a colonic.
  • Michigan: Extreme Cherry Vodka, motor oil, and game sausage personally bow-hunted by Ted Nugent.
  • Wisconsin: A Brandy Old Fashioned. Serve with a fish fry.
  • Illinois: Vodka, Old Style Beer, and Cheez Whiz garnished with Mike Ditka's Moustache Tonic.

    Other Resources:

  • The 50-State Quarters
  • Lyrics to The 50 States Song by Sufjan Stevens. Find an .mp3 if you can!
  • A 50 State Strategy for the Democratic Party
  • Hero Citizen Can Name All 50 States

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